The Allure of Female Sexuality and the Self-Expression of Gender

January 8, 2022



For me, there is an overwhelmingly powerful and mysterious allure to female sexuality. An attractive young woman—especially one who is sensually dressed—generates profoundly special feelings that can temporarily override all my logical thought processes. It’s like supernatural magic! In other words, a sexy woman can drive me crazy like nothing else. Me and a lot of other guys!


What makes me a little different, compared to most other guys, is that I sometimes express my love of female sexuality through my own gender expression. I occasionally dress as a woman. I started doing this when I was about 13. From about 2010 to 2020, I did it a lot. Now, I do it only occasionally. At my age (early 60s), it ain’t so easy to look good in drag anymore. But I do my best, and it still brings enjoyment.


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How can I explain the allure of female sexuality that prompts me to crossdress? Whenever I wear women’s clothes—especially silky hosiery, high heels, pretty or sexy dresses and skirts, blingy jewelry, flowery perfume… when I doll myself up with makeup and a long wig… then look at myself in the mirror…. I experience such heavenly blissful joyous sensual feminine feelings… gloriously peaceful yet fabulously exciting at the same time. And there is a strong spiritual aspect to these feelings.


These special feelings can cause confusion. There have been many times over the years when I thought I wanted to physically transition to female, by taking hormone drugs and getting surgery. I thought I might be a transsexual. However, those ideas have always eventually faded, and I return to being satisfied with my maleness. The urge to transition periodically comes back, but I know it will fade again. This back-and-forth sometimes gives me the “gender-bender blues.”


The main thing with me is that I like being a girl, but I also like being a guy. I am a feminine female and a macho male. I suppose I am what is now known as “gender fluid.” Thus, I am not a true transsexual. I don’t want to physically become a woman. Rather, I am a transvestite, or crossdresser. I just enjoy dressing like, looking like, and feeling like a woman from time to time. But, fundamentally, I am satisfied being a man. Nevertheless, I fantasize that if I could wave a magic wand to instantly make myself female—without the troubles of drugs and surgery—I would do it!


I realize that the terms I have used—transsexual, transvestite, crossdresser—are considered politically incorrect these days. I don’t care. As a writer, I believe in the precision of language, and those terms are more precise and accurate than “transgender.” Transgender can mean just about anything, so it is essentially meaningless. Anyone who transcends the conventional concept of gender is transgender—from a guy who gets turned on by wearing pantyhose and a skirt to a guy who performs in drag for others’ entertainment to a guy who actually turns his male body physically into female. All very different cases, but all transgender.


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The fabulous feelings that I experience when I dress like a woman help to clarify a large amount of the mysterious allure of female sexuality for me. As I’ve said, there is a magical supernatural aspect to it. I believe that femininity is a unique gift from the Great Goddess / Mother Nature (if I may get New Agey here). Genetic females are born with this gift. But genetic males, like me, can still capture the gift for ourselves if we have a tranny tendency—which is itself a gift from the Goddess. Women and “transwomen” (including crossdressers) have the pleasure of feeling and enjoying this magical gift in their lives.


Of course, most genetic men are not “transgender” like me. They do not want to feel like a woman or look like a woman or live as a woman or become a woman. So what explains the allure of female sexuality for them? I believe that most men, though they do not want the feelings of dressing like a female or being female, can till sense those powerful beautiful sensual amazing supernatural feelings when they admire a sexy woman. Men feel some aspects of the magical female joy and bliss when they gaze at a lovely lady, and they interpret those feelings as sexual desire. And during kissing, hugging, touching, and sexual intercourse, the man’s body merges with the woman’s body, in a literal sense. In that way, the man becomes one with the woman, and for that period of intimate contact, he experiences her inherent magical female sexuality for himself, as closely and intimately as possible. 


How might we explain lesbian sexual attractions? I believe that is actually the easiest aspect of this mysterious issue to explain. Women in a lesbian relationship not only enjoy the magical experience of their own femaleness, but the sexual merger with another woman allows them to experience the joy of interconnection with another female blessed by the Goddess. In this sensationally sensual form of sharing, the women double the pleasure that they were given as a natural gift. Thus, it seems to me that lesbians must experience the greatest sexual pleasure that is humanly possible!


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In this essay, I have mainly been discussing psychological and spiritual explanations for the powerful allure of female sexuality. However, as with most human behaviors, there are also explanations that can be attributed to biological evolution. As human beings were evolving over the course of hundreds of thousands of years, behaviors and physical characteristics that increased chances of survival were favored. Characteristics that led to greater chances of reproduction were strengthened generation after generation, and they became ingrained in the human genome.


The wide hips, shapely posterior, and large breasts of women all developed for their practical roles in reproduction. They are outer evidence of the abdominal space for the growing baby in the uterus and of the post-birth maternal nurturing of the baby. Males came to view these female physical characteristics as sexually desirable—because that is how Mother Nature worked it out, so that male and female would desire each other, mate, produce offspring, and perpetuate the species. Today, the hips, butt, and breasts of women remain major sexual turn-ons for men—and major sites of cosmetic enhancement for women and transwomen. However, it is probably safe to say that most men enjoying their erections while looking at, thinking about, or caressing these lovely female body parts are not thinking about the roles of the fleshy female structures in perpetuating the species! Nevertheless, those body parts indeed evolved for that purpose. In other words, reproduction-related biological evolution is largely responsible for the sexual horniness that overtakes the brains of men when admiring sexually desirable women.


In our modern era, pop culture is a factor that has played an extremely important role in training men’s brains to become sexually aroused by certain aspects of female sexuality. This pop culture factor includes advertising, movies, TV shows, music, pornography, and other elements that promote particular types of female looks and female clothing as sexually exciting. After all, the human species did not evolve throughout the eons with tight minidresses, lacy bras and panties, nylon pantyhose, and stiletto high heels! We have been essentially brainwashed, or conditioned, by the ad agencies and other pop culture marketers into believing that such things are sexy. I am sure that my own ideals of female sexuality have been implanted in my brain cells by the ads, movies, music, and porn that I have been exposed to as an American in the late 20th and early 21st centuries.


Although these cultural factors are important to human sexual consciousness, they would not be effective if they did not exploit things that Nature already put in place. A tight minidress on a shapely female body is effective at arousing sexual desire because it accentuates the wide hips and big breasts that evolved for reproductive purposes. Thus, we come back again to evolution. 


In summary, there are several factors responsible for the powerful allure of female sexuality—from individual psychological factors to species-wide genetic and evolutionary factors to numerous cultural influences. I believe that this female allure is far more powerful than the male allure, which also evolved and exists. Otherwise, our modern American/Western society would not be totally drenched in overt female sexuality the way that it is (to the pleasure of some, but to the disgust of others).


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The awesomely powerful allure of female sexuality is a glorious natural and supernatural gift that will forever remain an ultimately mysterious phenomenon. We should enjoy it as much as we can while we are alive. But we can never fully comprehend it while we remain in this world. Perhaps we will understand it better when we pass from this life into the spiritual realm.


Or perhaps I will understand it better if, after my death, I get reincarnated into a new life as a woman! That would surely be fun!


As for my current life, I will keep dealing as best as I can with my gender-bender blues.