Planet of the Blobs

 

We, who constitute the all-knowing, all-seeing, supernatural, creative entity that you can never know, have been here since before the beginning, and we have seen it all unfold and evolve. And from our detached perspective—from the outside looking in—we present this brief summary of what we have observed so far.

 

We have been observing ever since we created what the “big blobs” (as we casually refer to them) would later call the “big bang.” Yes, we did the big bang—we created the universe—and we laid out some fundamental physical rules for nature to follow afterward. But that’s all we did. After that, nature has been on its own, while we have just watched it all unfold. That is what we do. We created, then we have observed and studied, and we never interfere. This is our experiment in natural evolution.

 

We have observed the development of the multitude of galaxies and stars and planets. On one particular planet, which we are focusing on here in these notes, life developed. Life also developed on many other planets, but on this particular planet, it evolved in a rather unique way, leading to the development of one unusually destructive form, or species, of life. As previously indicated, we like to refer to that species as “big blobs.”

 

We theorize that the unique development of life on this planet may be associated with the DNA and RNA molecules through which inherited traits are conveyed, along with the types of mutations that have occurred. On most other planets, inherited traits are conveyed differently.

 

The big blobs on this planet evolved long after the evolution of numerous other species. The big blobs have probably been the most unique development—simply because of their bizarre behaviors—but they have not been the most interesting biological development to us. The most interesting development was the origin of sexual reproduction, when individual organisms changed from basically splitting in two to reproduce, to mating with other individual organisms and mixing up their genetic codes to create offspring with new genetic combinations. This sexual reproduction led to greater diversity in the evolution of species, which we have found to be quite fascinating. Millions of different species of life eventually evolved on this little planet.

 

We have made detailed studies of all of these species. And although there is great diversity among them, they all have a number of characteristics in common, primarily the fact that they are essentially fleshy vessels that contain genetic instructions for making more fleshy vessels. We have extensive and complex terminology that we use among ourselves to describe the various species. However, from our perspective, they are all, at their most fundamental and simplistic level, “blobs” (to speak casually again).

 

They are all basically blobs of cells and flesh and water, with nerves firing through their blobbiness, some with bony frameworks on their insides or outsides to support the blobbiness. (We enjoy the casual expressions because, being all-powerful and all-knowing supernatural entities, we’ve got to try hard not to get too full of ourselves.)

 

In the species that we call big blobs, the firing nerves inside their nerve centers, or “brains,” have led them to develop an idea that they are vastly superior to the other species of blobs. That is why we call them big blobs—not because they are especially large in body size, but because they have very large opinions about themselves.

 

We have noticed that these big blobs, which refer to themselves as “people,” have a tendency to emit a lot of loud noises, which they call “talking” or “communication.” They seem to love hearing themselves make these noises. They have also developed what they call “writing,” in which they scribble a series of little marks on paper or on technological devices. That is another way in which they communicate their big ideas with each other, and they seem very proud of their ideas.

 

They make an enormous amount of noises and scribbles about certain concepts that they have invented, such as religion and politics, government and corporations, and rules and laws about how other people should behave. Many of the ideas that they express are about what they think is wrong with other people and about why they think they are better than other people.

 

They have organized and separated themselves into many different groups of cities, states, and countries, each with its own system of government, authority, and rules. Increasingly, however, these many different systems seem to be merging into one single global system of authority with uniform rules.

 

They have also organized themselves into different groups of religions, each with speculative ideas about “gods” and “demons” and supernatural forces—all of which are, of course, wrong. Each religion has its own set of rules for believers to follow and its own type of “prayers” with which the believers try to communicate with their imagined supernatural forces. Yes, we hear all those prayers, but we ignore them. We are observers. We do not grant wishes or interfere with the course of events in any way.

 

Religion and government are among the many invented concepts of the big blobs that they believe are very profound and meaningful. Some other concepts that they have invented and that seem very important to them include love, lust, hate, art, science (actually, we invented the original science), money, profit, jealousy, greed, altruism, and selfishness. We have concluded that they use these concepts to try to fill their otherwise empty, meaningless lives as they go about their daily blobby activities.

 

In recent times, the big blobs have become most obsessed with their inventions in the technological realm. They have invented many different kinds of technological devices, tools, and weapons with which they try to accomplish various objectives that they set for themselves. Currently, they are spending almost all of their time communicating with each other through their latest technological gadgets. They seem to think that everything they’re communicating about in this way is extremely important and special.

 

We have observed that the big blobs are using their new communication tools to advance two agendas that strangely seem simultaneously contradictory and complementary. One agenda involves the promotion of uniformity of thought and consolidation of authority. This agenda seeks to make all people have the same ideas and obey the same authority figures. The other agenda involves the promotion of distinct group identities, dividing individuals into a number of distinct groups based on certain perceived characteristics, such as skin color or sexuality, thereby erasing the individual in favor of the group. Both of these agendas are being driven by a small number of powerful individual big blobs who seek to gain more control over the great masses of regular big blobs.

 

Thus, the few big blobs who hold the most power in the blobby societies are currently increasing their dominance over the blobby masses through the twin agendas of societal division and societal control. That is basically how we view the present trend of blobby civilization on this particular planet.

 

So, that is the latest manifestation of what the big blobs call civilization. We have seen many civilizations come and go and rise and fall on this planet. The newest civilizations of big blobs always think they are superior to the previous civilizations in their technologies, philosophies, social systems, and government establishments. However, we have observed that all of the blobby civilizations have been and continue to be essentially the same, though they keep finding new ways to do the same blobby things.

 

Over and over, millennium after millennium, civilization after civilization, there are certain small but powerful groups of big blobs that assert their dominance over other groups of big blobs, with the vast majority of individual big blobs merely trying to survive and finding occasional but fleeting “pleasures” in their blobby existences. There are always wars, which the big blobs always find reasons to wage against one another. Countless wars, never-ending wars, groups of big blobs slaughtering each other over and over again, in ever-greater numbers and with ever-greater savagery and ferocity, each time delusionally imagining that they are making some kind of societal progress.

 

When they are not killing each other in wars or other acts of senseless violence, the big blobs are killing other species, driving them into extinction, wiping them off the face of the planet, destroying the natural beauty of the land and polluting the planet’s rivers, lakes, oceans and atmosphere with toxic chemical compounds that they invented. With these types of reckless actions, the big blobs have altered the natural conditions of the planet and steered these conditions off in directions that we had not anticipated.

 

Today, the big blobs are combining their hatred of each other with their hatred of nature by threatening to wage what they call “nuclear war.” If that happens, we will be very curious to see the results for the big blobs, for their civilization, for the other forms of life, and for the planet itself.

 

Apparently, all of this frenetic, chaotic, illogical (from our perspective) activity provides meaning to the lives and societies of the big blobs, because they persist in these irrational pursuits regardless of the consequences, which, time after time, seem to be harmful to most of the people in their societies. As we previously suggested, we speculate that there may be some kind of unique genetic elements for irrational, illogical, and destructive behavior that have been favored in the big blobs’ evolution.

 

Most of the people in big blob societies appear to be, from our vantage point, desperately unhappy and dissatisfied, sensing that, no matter what they do to try to mask the facts, they are living lives of hollow emptiness and pointless nothingness. Yes, the big blobs seem to sense this black hole deep inside their blobby minds, but, because that sensation is so disturbing, they try to drown it out with more loud noises, more scribbly marks, and more senseless activities.

 

We do not know how the story of the big blobs, their civilization, their fellow species, and their planet will play out. We do not know how the story will end. We will keep observing. But we do know that it all will eventually end. We have seen it happen many times before. The existence of all life forms and all planets eventually comes to end. Everything goes extinct at some point.

 

Ultimately, like all the little blobs that they deem inferior, the big blobs on this particular planet will become extinct, and everything that they created will vanish forever. All the grand ideas that they had and all the confident noises that they made will be dissolved and silenced and forgotten forever as time marches on to its own beat. Time does not care about the big blobs. Time does not care about the big blobs’ planet either. That, too, will be extinguished in time.

 

In the great scheme of things, as we like to say out here on the outside, and after it is all over, nothing that those self-important big blobs did will have been important or meaningful. Everything that the big blobs said and did will have all been just as irrelevant and meaningless as the humble activities of the tiny blobs that the big blobs so casually dismissed. There is no essential difference between the big “human” blobs and the tiny “amoeba” blobs. They are all merely subjects of observation and study to us. And they are all quite insignificant to us, because we have many other planets and life forms to study.

 

So, for the big blobs themselves, what is the point of it all? What is the religious, spiritual, or philosophical point of life for them? The truth is that life has absolutely no point for them. They are nothing but blobs doing the blobby things that blobs do. There is no meaning at all to life for them—just as there is no meaning at all to life for the laboratory mice or bacteria that they study in their own experiments. They exist in misery for a while, and then they die or get killed. The end. That’s all there is to it.

 

But long after all the big blobs and little blobs are gone, we will continue, always on the outside, and existing into eternity, forever in our independent supernatural perfection.

 

And we shall keep making our observations of whatever is out there.